Today, something wonderful happened. If you’re not from the UK, you might not be aware of The X Factor. It’s the British answer to American Idol or whatever Simon Cowell-produced shitstravaganza your country has embraced, but for the past four years, the winner of that year’s X Factor has scored the Christmas Number One, a previously much-coveted position in the UK. With this stranglehold on the position, any kind of competition has been completely nullified by Simon Cowell and the idiots who buy the crap he hands out every year.
Well, last year Mr. Jon Morter (now to be known as King of Everything) and his wife (Queen of Everything) decided to try and finish this in comic fashion by attempting to rickroll Christmas with ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’. It didn’t work, but it got into the charts. This year, they tried again with Rage Against The Machine’s ‘Killing In The Name’ and, with a little help from a certain Mr. Peter Serafinowicz (i.e. genius comic responsible for Look Around You etc.), they created a genuinely interesting chart race for the first time in years with the help of Twitter, Facebook, and hundreds of thousands of people who don’t want their Christmas Number One to be decided for them. Today, we found out that ‘Killing In The Name’ had beaten this year’s X Factor winner, Joe McElderry, by 50,000 copies. Rage Against The Machine have promised to give all the profits to Shelter, the homeless charity, (which the King and Queen of Everything had already raised over £50,000 through the Facebook group) and play a free gig in the UK.
Now I’m not going to trot out some of the inane babbling that’s come out this evening; it’s not a victory over ‘The Man’, it won’t change history (but it will go down in it) and it certainly won’t destroy Simon Cowell or the idiots. What I will say is it’s FUCKING AWESOME.
EDIT: After the comments below, and my own reading over of the post, I’d like to apologise for condemning people for their musical choices so effusively. I might personally disagree with the musical tastes of some, but it gives me no reason to be rude about them. This was written in the excitement of the news and I think I let that spill over just a tad too much. Merry Christmas all!